Strong? I think not

First of all Case is doing amazingly well. His surgery....complete success! He had more pain this time than ever before but it was his 4th open heart surgery and he is older so in my opinion that is to be expected! 4 weeks later and he is showing major signs of improvement and the pain is almost gone!

So through all of this people keep telling me how strong I am. They comment on my facebook how strong I am or how strong we are. I do not feel this way. I don't feel like I am strong. I only feel like I do what I have to do for my family and for my son. There are days I lie in pity and don't want to get out of bed. There are also days I cry most of the day. I don't put on makeup like I used to or do my hair, I used to be one of the most stylish women and now I really just don't have the want to dress up everyday. The times he is struggling I struggle in pain with him. I would give anything to go through this for him. Then there are days, like Monday, when we go to the cardiologist and with a huge smile he tells us how "happy" Case's heart looks....those are the strong happy days. I feel now he is doing so well that there will be many more of these happy days. It has just been a very rough go since March.

I thank it is very sweet and thoughtful that so many people see me as strong and I thank goodness that is what it looks like but I would never use that word to describe myself. I am a mom that was faced with a horrible diagnosis for my child and I am doing everything in my power to keep him healthy and alive. I think also most of my friends would step up to the plate if they were faced with what we have been faced with.

Fighting for Case is easy. He makes it easy because he is so wonderful, happy and special. He makes me want to be stronger.