Our family just had a movie night and the movie of choice was Miracles from Heaven. Now I have been wanting to watch this movie since it came out but with 4 kids and 6 different peoples schedules we just never got around to it.
If you have not seen this moving let me be very firm in saying "go watch it!" and if you have seen it you will understand how extremely emotional it is. I have laughed AND cried throughout the entire show. I can so relate to the mom and the feeling of losing her faith. I will be the first to admit I have been in a bit of a fog where God is concerned throughout this entire journey with Case. I am not sure how to dig myself out. I try to not be so bitter but it is hard. When the women in the movie question her about why her child is sick and if her or her child sinned I completely feel that that is how people look at us. That for some reason we caused Case to be sick.
Being based on a true story I am so glad that sweet Anna found her miracle and I hope that sick kids continue to be given miracles. Case is our sweet miracle, even though he may never be completely healed he still thrives and is the toughest, happiest, and most blessed child I know. And while I have hit my knees many times since he was born and prayed for help and a miracle I have also been mad and bitter......something I, as a Christian need to get figured out.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Friday Night Lights
Bruce and I are overwhelmed by the support this community has shown us lately. Friday night Case will be a honorary team Captain at the Gregory Portland High School Football Game!!!!! GO WILDCATS!!!!! He is so excited.
Thursday he gets to go and meet the players and Friday before the game he is going to the pep rally. It means a lot to have the support of the town we have chosen to raise our children in. We can not wait to have a fun night of football surrounded by GP fans and our friends.
I want to thank Robert Steele and his wife Vanessa and Matt Anastasio for arranging this. Anyone I am leaving out who was behind the scenes that I don't know about we thank you so much as well.
Thursday he gets to go and meet the players and Friday before the game he is going to the pep rally. It means a lot to have the support of the town we have chosen to raise our children in. We can not wait to have a fun night of football surrounded by GP fans and our friends.
I want to thank Robert Steele and his wife Vanessa and Matt Anastasio for arranging this. Anyone I am leaving out who was behind the scenes that I don't know about we thank you so much as well.
Strong? I think not
First of all Case is doing amazingly well. His surgery....complete success! He had more pain this time than ever before but it was his 4th open heart surgery and he is older so in my opinion that is to be expected! 4 weeks later and he is showing major signs of improvement and the pain is almost gone!
So through all of this people keep telling me how strong I am. They comment on my facebook how strong I am or how strong we are. I do not feel this way. I don't feel like I am strong. I only feel like I do what I have to do for my family and for my son. There are days I lie in pity and don't want to get out of bed. There are also days I cry most of the day. I don't put on makeup like I used to or do my hair, I used to be one of the most stylish women and now I really just don't have the want to dress up everyday. The times he is struggling I struggle in pain with him. I would give anything to go through this for him. Then there are days, like Monday, when we go to the cardiologist and with a huge smile he tells us how "happy" Case's heart looks....those are the strong happy days. I feel now he is doing so well that there will be many more of these happy days. It has just been a very rough go since March.
I thank it is very sweet and thoughtful that so many people see me as strong and I thank goodness that is what it looks like but I would never use that word to describe myself. I am a mom that was faced with a horrible diagnosis for my child and I am doing everything in my power to keep him healthy and alive. I think also most of my friends would step up to the plate if they were faced with what we have been faced with.
Fighting for Case is easy. He makes it easy because he is so wonderful, happy and special. He makes me want to be stronger.
So through all of this people keep telling me how strong I am. They comment on my facebook how strong I am or how strong we are. I do not feel this way. I don't feel like I am strong. I only feel like I do what I have to do for my family and for my son. There are days I lie in pity and don't want to get out of bed. There are also days I cry most of the day. I don't put on makeup like I used to or do my hair, I used to be one of the most stylish women and now I really just don't have the want to dress up everyday. The times he is struggling I struggle in pain with him. I would give anything to go through this for him. Then there are days, like Monday, when we go to the cardiologist and with a huge smile he tells us how "happy" Case's heart looks....those are the strong happy days. I feel now he is doing so well that there will be many more of these happy days. It has just been a very rough go since March.
I thank it is very sweet and thoughtful that so many people see me as strong and I thank goodness that is what it looks like but I would never use that word to describe myself. I am a mom that was faced with a horrible diagnosis for my child and I am doing everything in my power to keep him healthy and alive. I think also most of my friends would step up to the plate if they were faced with what we have been faced with.
Fighting for Case is easy. He makes it easy because he is so wonderful, happy and special. He makes me want to be stronger.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Rollercoasters and Football Games
I feel like our lives these days consist of football games, school and preparing for an upcoming surgery. Today we started with a game and are waiting for a second. I love watching them play. The goal of youth sports is supposed to be fun...at times it is not. There is a lot of pressure put on little guys that probably shouldn't be there. A five year old is meant to have fun and to learn the game. We should learn to reinforce that winning isn't everything. I see parents yelling from the stands and kids not getting to play all for a big win. It is sad.
Then there is Case, I hear this is his 17th surgery. Most of them have been heart caths. This will be the 4th open heart surgery. Poor little child. Poor sweet child. I try not to feel sorry for him or us, I do this in quiet and when no one is watching. I think to myself why should one kid have to go through all of this? One little sweet 3 year old kid! Then I look at him and he is happy and he is LOVED, Case is so very loved. He is adored by his family and he is completely loved by our many friends. Strangers think of him and pray for him....I would even say that many strangers love him. He has touched so many lives and he has done it with a huge smile on his beautiful face. We are blessed to get to have such a wonderful child in our lives. He is the absolute happiest child with the biggest personality! He loves going to his brothers football games. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to see him fill with complete joy at football games knowing he will never play. He absolutely loves to spell out W-I-L-D-C-A-T-S and roar at the end. He's preparing himself to be a GP Wildcat and one day Bruce and I will have to break it to him that he will never step on that field as a player. It is small and in the scheme of all of these meaning less but it is one of the future things I am not looking forward to.
The Adams are excited about a big win this morning, hopefully one this afternoon and a BIG win on Oct. 7th when Case conquers the operating room with his "team" of surgeons, doctors and nurses.
Then there is Case, I hear this is his 17th surgery. Most of them have been heart caths. This will be the 4th open heart surgery. Poor little child. Poor sweet child. I try not to feel sorry for him or us, I do this in quiet and when no one is watching. I think to myself why should one kid have to go through all of this? One little sweet 3 year old kid! Then I look at him and he is happy and he is LOVED, Case is so very loved. He is adored by his family and he is completely loved by our many friends. Strangers think of him and pray for him....I would even say that many strangers love him. He has touched so many lives and he has done it with a huge smile on his beautiful face. We are blessed to get to have such a wonderful child in our lives. He is the absolute happiest child with the biggest personality! He loves going to his brothers football games. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to see him fill with complete joy at football games knowing he will never play. He absolutely loves to spell out W-I-L-D-C-A-T-S and roar at the end. He's preparing himself to be a GP Wildcat and one day Bruce and I will have to break it to him that he will never step on that field as a player. It is small and in the scheme of all of these meaning less but it is one of the future things I am not looking forward to.
The Adams are excited about a big win this morning, hopefully one this afternoon and a BIG win on Oct. 7th when Case conquers the operating room with his "team" of surgeons, doctors and nurses.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Just living Everday to the Fullest
No news is good news so the saying goes. More like busy mom of four hasn't found time to update! Much less try to think between chasing two little ones, keeping up with two older ones, moving, cleaning....the list goes on and one and I am sure you get the point.
Case has been doing extremely well. We have had a couple of visits to the PICU but just for small viruses\infections and mostly just to watch him. He is beautiful, growing and happy. He is now crawling and very close t walking. He also has discovered a new favorite thing, stairs! I spend many hours of my day chasing him up them and boy does he love the game! His little laughter and squeals are contagious.
We are only seeing our cardiologist once every two months which is very different than the weekly visits we had grown accustomed to. This is great but at times it does scare me.
For now we are busy settling into our new home, planning for the holidays, keeping up with our boys, and counting our many blessings
Case has been doing extremely well. We have had a couple of visits to the PICU but just for small viruses\infections and mostly just to watch him. He is beautiful, growing and happy. He is now crawling and very close t walking. He also has discovered a new favorite thing, stairs! I spend many hours of my day chasing him up them and boy does he love the game! His little laughter and squeals are contagious.
We are only seeing our cardiologist once every two months which is very different than the weekly visits we had grown accustomed to. This is great but at times it does scare me.
For now we are busy settling into our new home, planning for the holidays, keeping up with our boys, and counting our many blessings
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Pictures
Ups and Downs
This has been a crazy after surgery experience. Case's blood pressure continued to remain high for almost 2 weeks after surgery. He had surgery on Thursday Jan. 10 and by the following Sunday he was extubated and seemed to be doing great. He began eating and through Monday we thought we would soon be heading home. Doctors were still at a loss for the cause of the high bp. On Tuesday all began to go south. When we came into the hospital Case just seemed very out of it and extremely "sunken in" (dehydrated). Something about him just didn't seem right. In the mid afternoon I was holding him feeding him and all of a sudden his blood pressure went extremely high (top number 180) and his heart rate dropped to 88. I pulled his bottle away and around his little mouth he was very modly and grey. The nurse pulled his blanket down and his entire body was like that. The doctor quickly came over and the nurse picked him up to place him in the bed, his body was so limp. Nurses came from every direction and began to quickly work on him and the cardiologist came in. Even typing this the memory of it is so overwhelming I can hardly catch my breath. Of course when it happened Bruce wasn't there, he had ran home for a quick second. The chaplain came to sit with me and after about 45 long minutes they came and told me Case was fine but he had experienced a hypertensive crisis. Wednesday and Thursday were somewhat better but he still just wasn't right...not at all the baby we know and love. Thursday afternoon his bp seemed to settle down a bit and I stayed with him until about 3 am Friday morning. We called early Friday morning (7:45) and they said he was doing really well but by the time we got up there around 9:30 things again were really bad. Case once again had turned grey bluish in color and had begun breathing very rapidly and heavily. When I tried to talk to him he was very out of it. The anestisiogist was called in. The doctors were taking Case for an MRI and wanted him intubated (babies have to be paralyzed to go into the MRI machine). We left and went outside to get some air and catch our breaths. When we got back upstairs we learned that when they intubated Cases little body had a very bad reaction to it. They even had to give recessitation meds according to the anestisiologist. Luckily everyone working on our little guy is so amazing and invested in our son's well being he made it through. He remained on the breathing tube all weekend and we learned he had Corona virus (basically a cold) which for his fragile little body was very difficult to fight off. He was extubated early Tuesday morning and began feedings by a tube on Wednesday. On Friday he got his first bottle and 2 days later is back to eating 3 to 4 ounces every 3 hours. What a differnece some time and rest can make on a little dude! His bood pressure seems to be leveling out and the doctors are slowly backing off of the meds. Today he was smiling and so full of life again. My heart is overjoyed that he is doing so well. I am praying soon we can bring our baby home. He just needed a little extra time!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)